No News Yet

It's Thursday and Justin still hasn't heard from the job yet. It seems like his interview was forever ago. It was just Tuesday. I am learning more and more how little patience I have. I know that all that is going to have to change very very quickly, because there isn't much room for impatience in motherhood. I have been trying to just relax and trust that God has the best plan for us. I find myself dreaming of what comfort we would have if he gets this job, all the things we could use it for to bless others, and how much more Justin would be able to do to our new house. Things he wouldn't be able to do with what he used to bring home. Then I have to remember...we are not the owners of our money...our jobs are a gift and a blessing. Really nothing we have is ours. If we all lived life with the mentallity that everything is on loan, we might take better care of possesions, be a little more careful with other people's hearts, and really cherish the time we have with the people we come in contact with each day. I'm sure that when Kash gets here, it's going to be really hard to remember that she isn't mine...that I have been entrusted to help her become the woman that God has created her to be. Maybe if I can remind myself that she is the Lord's, then maybe I won't be short with her, selfish with her, yell at her out of anger, or lose my patience quickly. I read all these blogs from other moms who only get to see their babies in a tiny bed in a hospital, or have to learn how to be nurses at home to help thier babies thrive, or the most unimaginable, held their baby as it returned to the Lord's arms. I'm sure those moms, have a better understanding of patience, and gentleness...and that their children are a miraculous gift from the Lord no matter how long they get to spend with them. I am just reminded of how selfish I am and how much I need a Savior, protector, healer, provider, counselor...daddy. So now I've come back down from my daydreams of more money and a "perfect" life. God knows the plans he has for us...to prosper us, not to harm us...plans of hope and a future. We will be ok whether or not this is the right job. We haven't missed a meal yet. Some in part to great friends who make great chicken (plug for Keli), but most of all because if God cares about the lillies, how much more does he care about Justin, Amy and baby Kash.