Has it really been that long?

Well, last time I posted I was pregnant and miserable. Now our sweet baby Kash is 5 months old! I can't believe how time flies by! We just moved into our newe house this last weekend and are still living among boxes. Justin did such a beautiful job and we had many friends help us along the way. The kitchen is still not complete and we lack the outside also. It will be much easier to work on now that we aren't driving 30 minutes to get there.

I love to read everyone's thankful thursdays. So here goes mine:

I am thankful for:

God's provision
a replacement honda element (an orange one with a sunroof!)
two bathrooms!
friends who help even when it's the fifty millionth time we have asked
birthdays
baby bubbles
a job
rest
sanity!

I don't know if anyone reads this blog, facebook seems to be so much more effective, but for more private purposes, I will blog this instead of posting on facebook. Justin's cousin Lyndsey is pregnant with her second child. They lost their first last year at 20-22 weeks...a baby boy. This time she has a little girl, who they just found out has Holoprosencephaly. From what I can find on the internet, this basically means that a part of her brain is failing to form correctly and most of these cases lead to the baby's death before birth. There is a glimmer of hope for some babies though, that they have normal brain function, just some deformations of the face and head. Either way, it is very devastating to this couple and our family. There are no words to speak to them that can bring any sense of comfort when there are so many unknowns. The doctor offered for her to terminate now, but they have chosen to carry her until they are told she's not going to make it any longer. They need a miracle. The thought of losing a second child is so unfair...especially since we live in such a fallen world where so many have healthy children even out of disobedience. I know that sounds harsh, but it is a real thought in their minds, and mine for that matter.

I struggle with the concept that God can completely make her brain new and perfect. I struggle with the thought that he wants to heal every ailment. This requires me to trust...and what if he doesn't do a miracle. What if this sweet baby girl dies? What then, does this do to my faith? The truth is, it doesn't matter what I think about it. What matters is that we have a creator, who knew this baby girl before she was even formed. (Isaiah 44:2) he knows her...he started her little heartbeat, he keeps her alive in Lyndsey's belly, and he can touch her head, complete her brain, and move her eyes into perfect position. He can.

Now, she needs to be healed, and if she doesn't have any change, then mom and dad need to be healed...emotionally, spiritually, and physically. This isn't about God proving he can do it, or us proving we have enough faith to change God's mind. This is just a desperate plea to the God of the universe to step in and heal this baby.

Now to him who is able to do immeasureable more that all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout generations, forever and ever, Amen! Ephesians 3:20-21

So, everyday if time permits I read several blogs. Some are of people I know, but most are of people I have never met. I feel so inspired by these women and their families who go through troubling times and display such faith and strength. I am particularly encouraged today by the story of Katherine, who in her words, should be dead. If you haven't been following her story, you should start. Read the whole thing. She is a miracle. Her husband is a trooper, and her family has been so supportive. The biggest thing that stands out to me is her unwaivering faith. She could have been really mad at God, the world...life...if she wanted to. Instead, she keeps on fighting...and winning! Katherine, I don't know you, but you have blessed my heart so many times, and again today! Thank you for sharing your story, triumphs and setbacks, with the world. You will change lives as you are already doing!

If you want to read her story just click the link below:
http://www.katherinewolf.info/

Headed in to the third trimester!

I don't have alot to blog about...except to update about how Justin's job is going. He is getting the hang of it now. At first it was 12 hour days, but he has been finishing much earlier now, so he has a little more energy to work on the house. We hope to be in in August sometime, but we will keep the ultimate goal to move in before Kash gets here.

First Day on the Job

Justin's first day was today. He had to be there at 5:30 am. 4:15 came so early when his alarm went off. He went with someone on their route. He was finished by about 2:00p.m. which is fabulous! I know he is tired. Thank you to everyone that has been praying for us!

!!!!!!!

Justin was about to go up to the cabinet shop to ask if he could come back to work there when he got a call from the job he interviewed for last week. He got the job!!!! We are grateful!

No News Yet

It's Thursday and Justin still hasn't heard from the job yet. It seems like his interview was forever ago. It was just Tuesday. I am learning more and more how little patience I have. I know that all that is going to have to change very very quickly, because there isn't much room for impatience in motherhood. I have been trying to just relax and trust that God has the best plan for us. I find myself dreaming of what comfort we would have if he gets this job, all the things we could use it for to bless others, and how much more Justin would be able to do to our new house. Things he wouldn't be able to do with what he used to bring home. Then I have to remember...we are not the owners of our money...our jobs are a gift and a blessing. Really nothing we have is ours. If we all lived life with the mentallity that everything is on loan, we might take better care of possesions, be a little more careful with other people's hearts, and really cherish the time we have with the people we come in contact with each day. I'm sure that when Kash gets here, it's going to be really hard to remember that she isn't mine...that I have been entrusted to help her become the woman that God has created her to be. Maybe if I can remind myself that she is the Lord's, then maybe I won't be short with her, selfish with her, yell at her out of anger, or lose my patience quickly. I read all these blogs from other moms who only get to see their babies in a tiny bed in a hospital, or have to learn how to be nurses at home to help thier babies thrive, or the most unimaginable, held their baby as it returned to the Lord's arms. I'm sure those moms, have a better understanding of patience, and gentleness...and that their children are a miraculous gift from the Lord no matter how long they get to spend with them. I am just reminded of how selfish I am and how much I need a Savior, protector, healer, provider, counselor...daddy. So now I've come back down from my daydreams of more money and a "perfect" life. God knows the plans he has for us...to prosper us, not to harm us...plans of hope and a future. We will be ok whether or not this is the right job. We haven't missed a meal yet. Some in part to great friends who make great chicken (plug for Keli), but most of all because if God cares about the lillies, how much more does he care about Justin, Amy and baby Kash.