A friend of mine, from when I worked for Dr. Harris, died yesterday and the young age of 38. When she was pregnant with her second child, she was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer. Because of this diagnosis, she came to see us more often, and over the course of that time we grew as friends. That was over three years ago. She has been battling cancer most of this time, each time defeating the hurdles in front of her. She fought with great faith and grace, touching the lives of all she encountered. She was truly a great woman, and her life and testimony will continue to live on in many hearts and in the stories of the thousands of people she blessed with her words, actions, courage and love.
She leaves behind her husband Wally, and two young sons Samuel and Dane. It won't be an easy road for Wally. As I can only imagine, he will have to take time to greive, help his boys grieve, and adjust to raising his sons on his own, but what a legacy she has left and what great things he will be able to teach them about their strong, courageous, fighter mom.
She is in the presence of Jesus! She is complete. She feels no more pain or fatigue. No more worry. What a glorious thought! Praise God for His saving grace that gives us peace when we are looking earthly death in the face. Praise God for a life lived to glorify Him, no matter what she went through. Praise God for His provision for Wally and the boys.
She will be greatly missed.

Has it really been that long?

Well, last time I posted I was pregnant and miserable. Now our sweet baby Kash is 5 months old! I can't believe how time flies by! We just moved into our newe house this last weekend and are still living among boxes. Justin did such a beautiful job and we had many friends help us along the way. The kitchen is still not complete and we lack the outside also. It will be much easier to work on now that we aren't driving 30 minutes to get there.

I love to read everyone's thankful thursdays. So here goes mine:

I am thankful for:

God's provision
a replacement honda element (an orange one with a sunroof!)
two bathrooms!
friends who help even when it's the fifty millionth time we have asked
birthdays
baby bubbles
a job
rest
sanity!

I don't know if anyone reads this blog, facebook seems to be so much more effective, but for more private purposes, I will blog this instead of posting on facebook. Justin's cousin Lyndsey is pregnant with her second child. They lost their first last year at 20-22 weeks...a baby boy. This time she has a little girl, who they just found out has Holoprosencephaly. From what I can find on the internet, this basically means that a part of her brain is failing to form correctly and most of these cases lead to the baby's death before birth. There is a glimmer of hope for some babies though, that they have normal brain function, just some deformations of the face and head. Either way, it is very devastating to this couple and our family. There are no words to speak to them that can bring any sense of comfort when there are so many unknowns. The doctor offered for her to terminate now, but they have chosen to carry her until they are told she's not going to make it any longer. They need a miracle. The thought of losing a second child is so unfair...especially since we live in such a fallen world where so many have healthy children even out of disobedience. I know that sounds harsh, but it is a real thought in their minds, and mine for that matter.

I struggle with the concept that God can completely make her brain new and perfect. I struggle with the thought that he wants to heal every ailment. This requires me to trust...and what if he doesn't do a miracle. What if this sweet baby girl dies? What then, does this do to my faith? The truth is, it doesn't matter what I think about it. What matters is that we have a creator, who knew this baby girl before she was even formed. (Isaiah 44:2) he knows her...he started her little heartbeat, he keeps her alive in Lyndsey's belly, and he can touch her head, complete her brain, and move her eyes into perfect position. He can.

Now, she needs to be healed, and if she doesn't have any change, then mom and dad need to be healed...emotionally, spiritually, and physically. This isn't about God proving he can do it, or us proving we have enough faith to change God's mind. This is just a desperate plea to the God of the universe to step in and heal this baby.

Now to him who is able to do immeasureable more that all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout generations, forever and ever, Amen! Ephesians 3:20-21

So, everyday if time permits I read several blogs. Some are of people I know, but most are of people I have never met. I feel so inspired by these women and their families who go through troubling times and display such faith and strength. I am particularly encouraged today by the story of Katherine, who in her words, should be dead. If you haven't been following her story, you should start. Read the whole thing. She is a miracle. Her husband is a trooper, and her family has been so supportive. The biggest thing that stands out to me is her unwaivering faith. She could have been really mad at God, the world...life...if she wanted to. Instead, she keeps on fighting...and winning! Katherine, I don't know you, but you have blessed my heart so many times, and again today! Thank you for sharing your story, triumphs and setbacks, with the world. You will change lives as you are already doing!

If you want to read her story just click the link below:
http://www.katherinewolf.info/

Headed in to the third trimester!

I don't have alot to blog about...except to update about how Justin's job is going. He is getting the hang of it now. At first it was 12 hour days, but he has been finishing much earlier now, so he has a little more energy to work on the house. We hope to be in in August sometime, but we will keep the ultimate goal to move in before Kash gets here.

First Day on the Job

Justin's first day was today. He had to be there at 5:30 am. 4:15 came so early when his alarm went off. He went with someone on their route. He was finished by about 2:00p.m. which is fabulous! I know he is tired. Thank you to everyone that has been praying for us!

!!!!!!!

Justin was about to go up to the cabinet shop to ask if he could come back to work there when he got a call from the job he interviewed for last week. He got the job!!!! We are grateful!

No News Yet

It's Thursday and Justin still hasn't heard from the job yet. It seems like his interview was forever ago. It was just Tuesday. I am learning more and more how little patience I have. I know that all that is going to have to change very very quickly, because there isn't much room for impatience in motherhood. I have been trying to just relax and trust that God has the best plan for us. I find myself dreaming of what comfort we would have if he gets this job, all the things we could use it for to bless others, and how much more Justin would be able to do to our new house. Things he wouldn't be able to do with what he used to bring home. Then I have to remember...we are not the owners of our money...our jobs are a gift and a blessing. Really nothing we have is ours. If we all lived life with the mentallity that everything is on loan, we might take better care of possesions, be a little more careful with other people's hearts, and really cherish the time we have with the people we come in contact with each day. I'm sure that when Kash gets here, it's going to be really hard to remember that she isn't mine...that I have been entrusted to help her become the woman that God has created her to be. Maybe if I can remind myself that she is the Lord's, then maybe I won't be short with her, selfish with her, yell at her out of anger, or lose my patience quickly. I read all these blogs from other moms who only get to see their babies in a tiny bed in a hospital, or have to learn how to be nurses at home to help thier babies thrive, or the most unimaginable, held their baby as it returned to the Lord's arms. I'm sure those moms, have a better understanding of patience, and gentleness...and that their children are a miraculous gift from the Lord no matter how long they get to spend with them. I am just reminded of how selfish I am and how much I need a Savior, protector, healer, provider, counselor...daddy. So now I've come back down from my daydreams of more money and a "perfect" life. God knows the plans he has for us...to prosper us, not to harm us...plans of hope and a future. We will be ok whether or not this is the right job. We haven't missed a meal yet. Some in part to great friends who make great chicken (plug for Keli), but most of all because if God cares about the lillies, how much more does he care about Justin, Amy and baby Kash.

Interview

Justin has a job interview this morning at 8:20. This is the job that would allow us more financial freedom and definetely provide much more than we have now for the baby. Please pray that God would have favor on Justin today, and Richard who is interviewing him would only be able to choose Justin. One other man is interviewing today for the position. Thanks for your prayers.

Yeah, we changed the spelling of her name!

Think it's more girly!

Thankful Thursday

So I've never done one of these before, and I don't know who started it, but I'm gonna give it a shot. My day started out terribly, but as the day goes on I can't keep the tears from coming because of the peace and overwhelming joy that surrounds me today!

1. I'm thankful that no matter the circumstance, I am protected and provided for.

2. I'm thankful that I have a healthy baby girl growing in my belly and moving around everyday. I get to experience something that many women only dream of.

3. I'm thankful that we made it to the next paycheck without going in the red. My job is secure.

4. I'm thankful that Justin has had lots of time to prepare our new house.

5. I'm thankful that my parents want to buy a bed for Baby Kash. (the one we already chose)

6. I'm thankful we have a roof over our head.

7. I'm thankful that we have a multitude of friends who love us and invite us for dinner and lunch, and support us emotionally and through prayer.

8. I'm thankful for Keli and her ever encouraging comments on my blog and through text messages.

9. I'm thankful for the twenty dollar gift card that came with our baby registry stuff so we could pick out an outfit for Baby Kash just because we wanted to. (God sometimes blesses us with our silly desires)

10. I'm thankful for our church family that constantly calls with new possible job opportunities for Justin.

11. I'm thankful that no matter the circumstance, I am protected and provided for.

12. I 'm thankful that no matter the circumstance, I am protected and provided for.

A Few Things To Pray For

Her official name will be Aidyn Kash Lester, but we've decided to call her Kash. So please begin to pray now for her as we are doing...I'm already starting to have trouble sleeping at night, and I wake up for my ten hour day at work feeling exhausted. If anyone has any suggestions, they would be greatly appreciated. I already have a body pillow that I use to sleep. It's my hips that hurt the most at night. I don't know if it's the mattress or what.

Justin has three possible job opportunities coming his way this week. He should hear back from his old boss, has an interview with a furniture maker on Wednesday, and has filled out an application for a delivery job that a friend of ours is trying to get him. He should hear about that one this week also. That last one is the best pay we think, and it has great benefits. It's one that no matter the economy, will always have business. Please pray for the perfect one for our family. We would like for the last one to happen, because it would give us a significant extra amount each month. This would give us a little more freedom to do extra things for Baby Kash, and we would also be able to bless others like we have desired for a long time now. I would also possibly be able to stay home longer after Kash gets here. It is a great desire of mine to have more than six weeks. Please pray for my contentment, and God's will in a job for Justin. Thank you for your prayers.

IT'S A GIRL!!!

Well she was very busy in there yesterday, but we managed to get two views. She's a modest little girl (which we will continue to pray for), so we are glad we got the two shots we got. We couldn't even get a printed picture of the "between the legs" view cause she just kept closing them! The doctor said both times though that she saw three lines and no boy parts!!!

Job

We found out yesterday that Justin now has no job. The happenings are not important, just know that Justin was not treated fairly. He is very down, feels like it is his fault (which it is not) and is very burdened about the future. We have a baby coming in 4 months, a new house, and he needs a job very quickly. He has spoken with his previous employer the one he had before we went to Oregon, and he feels very strongly that he will get to go back, but it is not set in stone, so there is still that sense of urgency that he needs to find a job. I'm not really worried about the money, I think we have enough support from family. It's the fact that I can't do anything to make him feel better about the situation or about himself. I don't know how to encourage him enough or in a way that lifts him up. I can only love him, and tell him I trust him. I know he will get a job, even if it's working minimum wage for a while. I just want him to know his value doesn't lie in what job he has, or how much money he makes, but in his character and how he walks with the Lord. He is learning and growing so much, and disheartening things always seem to happen just when everything seems to be going in the right direction. I don't want him to lose faith. Please pray for provision, encouragement, faith, and rest. Thanks.

Highs and Lows

Today is the first day back to work this week. Somehow, Justin and I acquired the plague from somewhere. We are both feeling much better and have managed to not cough up either of our lungs! We both just laid around all weekend, which was kinda nice. We did get to go to my parents house on sunday. It's nice to have mom around when you don't feel good.
We are definately going to get the house, I think. It didn't appraise as high as we had hoped for us to be able to put all we want into it, but as I have previously posted, we have been having great luck with great bargains. I have no doubt that we will be able to be creative in our decorating and refininshing. The scariest part of it all is that Justin was told yesterday that his hours were being cut in half. In half!! That's a major financial blow, but I know that God will provide a new job soon. If he has to, he will see if he can get back on at the cabinet shop. I just want him to do something that makes him feel like he provides for his family. You know, that he's the man! He struggles with that anyway, and this news hasn't helped any. I have been doing my best to engourage him, and not freak out. We have a baby coming in 4 months!
Please pray for God's provision with Justin a good, well-paying job that he enjoys doing. Thanks!!!

I Felt It!

Felt the baby move this weekend. Pretty exciting. I don't think I'll ever forget it!

House??

We've found another house. The great thing about this one is that it already has most of the hard work done, so Justin won't have to do as much. We get to step right in and put our finishing touches on it. I can already tell that Justin and I might argue a little more than the last time we did this. First, we weren't married then, so my say wasn't as important to me. Second, I'm pregnant this time and very moody and opinionated!! I'm trying to scale it back some for the sake of his sanity. I may just have to pretend I'm not going to live there again, and let him work his magic. It always turns out beautiful when he's finished, but definetely sounds crazy when he's explaining it. I have no vision and certainly can't picture what he's saying in my head. He should make me a coloring book of the house, then I'd understand better what he wants to do.
Anyhow, we should close in the next few weeks. Just waiting on the appraisal.

I find it a little weird that the baby can now hear what is going on inside and outside my belly. I find myself watching what I say a little more. Is that crazy? I mean, can it really hear everything? I don't know. I've started talking to my belly a little bit, which felt awkward at first, but is becoming more and more fun. I don't want to be any crazier than I already am, but I 've been looking for scriptures to read over my belly and to our little babe. Of course, it hears me singing in the shower. (Justin doesn't even get to do that! I only sing in the shower when Justin isn't home!) The other day I decided to do a little mowing on the riding mower, and as soon as I started that thing up I remembered the whole "baby can hear now" thing. I'm sure it was freaking out at the noise, maybe not. Sometimes I can get pretty loud, but I definetely don't sound like a mower.

Good Weekend

I had a doctor's visit last Thursday. Heart rate 150, Keli. Still a boy you think? We will hopefully find out May 20. That is assuming that the baby will spread 'em! It is Justin's child so it might be obstinate, but we are hoping that it will try to be cooperative just like me. It? He? She? I don't know?!

I'm so proud of us!!! This weekend we found a wonderful rocking chair in perfect condition for $9 at the goodwill in Edmond!!! Everyone should go there occasionally. Then Saturday we found a modern looking dresser for $40, perfect height to be a changing table if we want also. It just needs to be sanded and refinished which is right up Justin's alley.

So my belly finally looks like a pregnant one and not a chubby one. I'm excited that it will be summer cause it gives me an excuse to have a belly!! I'm not excited about the sweating, but I can sport my big belly proudly! I tend to want to wear hoodies all year round normally. Total insecurity I know.

Can't wait until we know what this precious gift is! I've decided a boy is great too!

Bummer!

Well, the house deal fell through. The inspector came and told us that the roof needed to be replaced because it had a layer of wood shingles and two layers of composition shingles on top of that. It was causing the roof to sag in some areas and he said most insurance companies would not insure it. The estimated cost was from $6000-$10000 to replace. The seller would not agree to fix it, or even agree to a lower price, so we walked away. Bummer! We will keep looking.

The boys were great Thursday night. Eli slept all night which, would have been great, but I kept waking up thinking that couldn't be normal. I had to keep checking to see if he was breathing. We went to the zoo the next day with our friends Tiffany and Isabelle. It was a beautiful afternoon. The brown bears were wrestling in the water. Most of the animals were out so it was worth the trip. Isn't it sad when you go to the zoo and don't get to see anything except the birds which are always out?!!

Thanks to Craigslist, which I love, we got a really nice infant carrier and base for twenty bucks yesterday. It's in great shape! It's khaki and black so it can go either way!!! Now we are on the lookout for a decent stroller. I'm a big fan of being thrifty, and if I don't have to buy expensive new stuff it will be great since diapers aren't cheap and you go through a billion in one day! I know we can register for stuff, but most people can't buy someone a stroller combo for $150-200 unless they are a grandparent or something like that. So we will be as thrifty as possible. If anyone wants to loan hand-me downs or give them that is much appreciated. It will be easier to plan once we know what gender this kid is. My friend Heather from Dr H's office has a verse on her blog that I love! "I am your creator. You were in my care even before you were born." Isaiah 44:2 I am thinking about putting that on the wall in the baby's room. Thanks Heather for the verse!!!

I go to the doctor tomorrow and then we will schedule the ultrasound!! Hooray! I will post the date of the great reveal (if baby dwayne cooperates). For now, baby will continue to be called "dwayne." We have names picked but I'm not sharing them yet!